Telling Yourself the Truth
I have often wondered what was missing in the various programs that teach manifestation and co-creation. There are many people and programs teaching a version of this and I know that the results people experience vary from getting it and obtaining what is desired to continued struggle. In our Bring it ON program we have an assessment that is designed to measure what is. This assessment is a pre-requisite to participation in the program. I have always known this was an important aspect of the co-creative process but did not know why. Fortunately in working on myself and with others I have gleaned an awareness of something that is often missed and why that assessment is so valuable.
As coaches, the process of working with clients has us identifying the gap between where the client is now and where the person desires to be. Another way of saying this is to identify the gap between what is and the desired result of the coaching process. What is often missed or missing in the process is the telling of the truth of what is. When we deny what is or we do not tell ourselves the truth of what is, we do not create the structure that supports moving towards what the desired result is.
Imagine you are using MapQuest on your computer to find your way from Los Angeles to San Francisco. MapQuest requires that you enter two values. Where you are and where you are going. So like our coaching process you input where you are, (what is) and where you are going, (your desired result). What do you suppose would happen if you entered a starting point that does not accurately describe where you are? Or what about this one. Imagine you wish to travel to London and you are currently in San Diego. If you input New York as a starting point and London as a destination you would have trouble getting where you are going. You are not beginning your travel in New York.
It is the same with intention and manifestation. In order to create a structure for your journey that gets you to the desired result, you must be honest with yourself about what is. You must tell yourself the truth. This is not to suggest that you focus on the negative or what is wrong. Once you have accurately identified what is and what is desired you can let go and allow the forces of nature to organize the events and coincidences that draw you towards your desired results.
So why is it so hard to tell ourselves the truth? What is it about living this life that keeps us in denial about one or more aspects of our lives?
I have found several barriers to this self awareness and will share a few of the most common here:
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The habit of ignoring - this shows up as us not wanting to look at what is because we fear what we may discover. Our conditioning has been such that we have been taught this useless skill and see it modeled everywhere. We are unconscious about how often we live from a place of ignoring what is. When we choose not to ignore we may have to let go of circumstances, people, and things that no longer serve our highest good. We use critical thought to form opinions and preferences that allow us to create the boundaries that support us in being our best selves. (Please note this is not about becoming judgmental towards others or making them wrong. It is all about making decisions that allow us to create environments that support us.)
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The habit of being in denial -This is a little different than ignoring as this habit has us acting one way as if circumstances are different. This can show up in a number of ways; here are some examples: a woman denies that the man in her life is not in integrity and is lying to her, a person refuses to see that someone who works for them is angry and lacking integrity, a person pretends things are as they were 10 years ago, we say we don’t care. I am sure you can identify many examples of this in your life and the lives of others. We have been lied to for much of our lives. Misrepresentations of reality are common. How will you move from where you are to where you desire to be if you are in denial about where you are?
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Needing to be seen as politically correct or being fearful of making waves. Our conditioning has been to dumb down our responses and to protect the feelings of others. We are told what we can and can’t say and we often take on these ways of being as a protective mechanism to keep us safe. We cannot get where we desire to go when we are censoring our speaking out of fear of the consequences.
- Fear of being seen as judgmental. There is a distinction between being judgmental, which is about making yourself or others wrong and using critical thought or judgment to assess your situation and determine your opinions and preferences. Your values come in here as well. Values pull us forward. So, if you have someone in your life who is all about money and you are all about service, you have different values. This does not make either of you right or wrong–just different. So being in a relationship with this person may be something you would prefer not to do as that relationship would not be based on shared values. Judgment is involved here and it is not judgment as we traditionally think of it. It is judgment as a tool to sort preferences and determine opinions. (This is not about polarity-good/bad, right/wrong, it is again about creating the environments that perfectly support you).
The fundamental core level decision to be the creative force in your life is one that requires relinquishing all of the above obstacles and telling ourselves the truth about what is. What are you telling yourself?
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